The Unknown
by Karretje
Summary: Something is wrong with Sam, he knows it and the team knows it. Will they find out in time what it is and can his team help him?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys, this is my first fanfic and I just wanted to share it with you. There will be multiple chapters. Please keep in mind that english is not my first language. If you see mistakes, which you will, and it bothers you just point them out and I will learn from it. ****The story is set after season 4 and everything is as it is in the series except that I replaced Raf with Leah. I just like her better. Oh and I don't know anything about Ice Hockey.**

It had been a long summer of many hot calls. Due to the long heat strike people turned crazy in Toronto and had pulled guns at their loved ones, knifes at strangers or found themselves standing on the edge of a cliff desperate to find answers.

Team one made a lot of extra hours so Sam and Jules were mostly seeing each other during work time. Whenever they were off work they were asleep.

But now the weather was cooling down and so were the heads of the people of Toronto.

It was the first Monday after the summers break so most people were either in school or at work. So after morning work out and a long briefing to cover the busy past weeks Greg decided to go patrolling with the team and hopefully the day would stay nice and quiet.

Jules was sitting in the car with Greg, listening to the happy chatter of the rest of the team. Spike and Leah were discussing last night's game and since they didn't support the same team the heat went up quickly in car 2 and they were passing out insults to the others team. Jules looked over towards Greg and noticed he was driving with a peaceful smile on his face. She turned here focus back on the conversation. "Well I get that you're to stubborn to admit that the Canucks were way better than the Maple Leafs but at least you must agree with me that the referee was horrible. I mean the decisions he made were insane!" Spike shouted out, still upset that the Maple Leafs barely won from the Canucks, even though Spike thought that the Canucks were playing much better. "No, I'm with you on that one. I don't think he favoured anyone with his decisions" Leah answered. Both went on, counting up al the mistakes the referee had made until Ed cut in. "What, that's it? One misjudge by a referee and the Canucks and Maple Leafs are suddenly friends? Be a supporter, fight for your team, show character!" Ed laughed, clearly hoping for some more friendly banter from his teammates.

"Yes" added Jules, "that's right, Ed! Leah are you going to let Spike call you stubborn".

And before Jules could say even more the heat went straight up in car 2 and Greg, Jules and Ed burst out in laughter.

Ed looked over to his teammate on the passenger side. Sam was clearly not paying attention to the conversation. He already had noticed this morning that Sam was a bit off. He clearly hadn't been sleeping well and he could only hope it was the result of the long hours this summer and that a quiet day like this would do him good. But as he was listening to the happy chatter trough the comms, he couldn't help worrying about his younger teammate. It had been a long summer for all of them especially for Sam. It started with Jules getting hurt and Dr. Toth finding out about their relationship. The chief finally gave them the all clear to stay on the team, but it had definitely brought some stress on Sam. He knew Sam would never let Jules be the one to leave the team and since there were no openings on the other teams he contacted his father to see what his options were if he decided to join the military again. Honestly it was a relief for everyone, when they were cleared. Knowing Sam's history he couldn't shake the fear off of him what would have happened to Sam if he were directly confronted with his past. After they got cleared it became warmer and warmer in Toronto and one hot call after the other came in. Even though they had many successful outcomes, there were also to many incidents were they had to take the subject down by lethal force. And with Sam being Sierra one, that burden mostly came down on his shoulder. In the last case SIU gave him some trouble, not because they thought Sam made a mistake, or that Greg's scorpio wasn't right but because they wanted to be sure that it wasn't to much for Sam to handle. Maybe they were right; maybe some time off would do him good. He had to smirk a little at that thought. Convincing Sam to take some time off would be interesting. Probably just as difficult as it would be for Greg to convince him to take some time off. He suddenly had to think back to a case were Sam was being the TL, just so he could spread his wings a little bit. Ed thought he did really well and was proud how much he had learned these last years. When he went over the case with Greg at the end of the day, Greg looked a little worried. "Ed, I know you think he did well, and he did. He did great" Greg said very serious before his eyes lid up and a big grin crossed his face. "But all I can think is, dear god, there are two of them!" And his boss jumped up from his seat with a surprising flexibility and before he could come up with a smart comeback het added "Goose, you're buying". Back in present time Ed was smiling. Yes in some ways Sam looked like him.

Back at the Barn the team went to do some more work out before their shift came to an end. Sam had been feeling tired and couldn't wait for the day to come to an end. He hadn't slept much last night, in fact all week his sleep was disturbed by him waking up in cold sweat and shaking like crazy. Nightmares weren't uncommon for him; he had several of them per week. But this was different. The cold sweat and shivering was normal when he had a nightmare after a call where he had to take a life. Back in the military he had them every night and when he came back it was even worse. But these nightmares were completely different. He had no recollection of what his nightmares where all about and never before he woke up shaking like that. Shivering yes, but not shaking. The first night when he woke up shaking, Jules hadn't noticed and for that he was thankful. He didn't like to worry her. After that night he came up with an excuse to sleep over at his own place. Jules wasn't very happy about it but she didn't seem to think any of it.

Because he was to exhausted to stand on his feet Sam chose the bike as his work out. While punching in the heaviness of his work out, his hands started to tremble. First he looked in shock at his hands but he recomposed himself straight away by holding on the bars as tightly as he could so it wasn't noticeable. He looked around him but no one seemed to notice. Focussing back on his hands het started to ride the bike and thought about all possibilities. First in mind came Wordy. Wordy's hands were shaking and he had difficulty with focussing before he went on meds. But then again, with Wordy it didn't start overnight. Other possibilities came to his mind, brain tumor, damage to his brains due to one of the many concussions he had suffered over the last years, but probably it was just the lack of sleep. "Are you planning to overnight at the Barn" Sam was pulled back to reality and noticed Jules standing next to him with worry on her face. The others had already left the gym. "It's the first time in weeks that we are of on time, come let's get out of here" she said. Carefully Sam let go of the bike and he was happy that his hands were not trembling anymore. "So are you sleeping over tonight?" Jules asked. "Because you really look like you can use a good night of sleep and obviously you are not getting that at your place". Last few nights Sam used the excuse to sleep at his own place because he would sleep better there. But he knew he couldn't use that excuse anymore. And honestly he missed Jules, he didn't want to go home alone anymore. Maybe it would do him good to sleep next to her, maybe it would calm him down. To make sure she wouldn't worry he gave her a quick kiss on her cheek, a charming smile and said "sure, if you cook me a nice meal".

At Jules house Jules cooked him a home meal, which he had missed just as much as he had missed Jules this week, and they had a nice relaxing evening together.

In the middle of the night Sam woke up. It was 1:30 am so he had about 3 hours of sleep so far. He wasn't to shaky and to sweaty and was glad Jules was sound asleep. He quietly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He washed his face and sat down on the edge of the bathtub waiting for the shakiness to subdue. But it didn't. Suddenly sweat broke out and his whole body started to tremble. He slid off the bathtub on the ground and panic washed over him as he lost control over his body. Images flashed by him, none of them recognizable. His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up. He crawled in the corner with his back against the wall, his arms around his knees fighting against the darkness. No, not fighting, he didn't want to fight against it and he led the darkness come over him.

**A/N: Please let me know if you like the story (or not). I know the story line, just not exactly how I'm going to fill it up and how it will end. I will update as soon as next chapter is done and as soon as I have at least 1 review. If no one is reading it, then no need to update :) So basically I'm begging you, please post a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! You guys are so amazing. I had a smile from ear to ear while reading them :). Here is chapter 2, enjoy!**

Sam woke up early in the morning. His whole body ached and he felt like he had a fever. He was still sitting in the same corner of the bathroom. He was sticky from the now dried sweat and shivering because he was freezing. He quickly stepped into the bathtub and turned on the shower. While sitting down, he let the warm water flow over his body. Slowly he was gaining control over his body and mind. His head was pounding and it was difficult to remember clearly what had happened to him after he woke up. He had woken up because of a nightmare and slight trembling, but soon it had turned a lot worse. He didn't want to think about the reason what could have caused this. He didn't want to think about going to work and face his colleagues. He closed his eyes and forced himself not to think about it.

Jules woke from her alarm. With the many nights without Sam next to her, she noticed she was clearly not sleeping so well without him. So now he was sleeping at her place again she had immediately fallen into a deep sleep. To only notice that the man she loved so much was not lying next to her. "Sam" she called out as she got up. She heard the shower running and stepped into the bathroom. "Sam, you okay" she asked him. She took her clothes off and stepped under the shower with him. She noticed straight away that something was wrong. Sam wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.

"Morning beautiful" he said, "Did you sleep well? I hope I didn't wake you up"

"No you didn't, slept like a baby. What's wrong Sam, couldn't you sleep?"

"No, woke up with a massive headache. I hope I didn't caught something" He replied.

"Are you up for work? The boss would understand if you took a sick day, you never take one" Jules looked concerned at him.

"Yeah, I think I'm good. If not I can always leave after work out." Sam gave her a long kiss before he stepped out to dry himself off.

"Do you want me to make breakfast" he asked "Or will we take some on our way to work?".

"I don't think I have much left, we better by some breakfast on our way in, might as well bring everyone coffee. I think it's our turn anyway" Jules replied while she turned off the shower. 

Ed arrived early at the Barn, he had woken up early because of a screaming one year old. He loved being a parent and having a son and a daughter really makes his family complete. But at the same time he feels a bit to old to be a father. With Clark it was so much easier. Plus Izzy knew her father was to soft on her. So small as her fingers are, she knows how to wrap her daddy around her. Ed could only hope that his team would not find out his weak spot.

Off course Greg was already in. Ed had never managed to beat him. Even now Greg had a son and a woman to be with, he was always the first to arrive and the last to leave.

"Morning Greg" Ed walked into the briefing room and sat down next to his friend.

"Morning Eddie, what brought you in so early" the sergeant replied.

"Well you know, can't be to long without your company" Ed smirked.

"So Izzy woke you up" Greg laughed.

Ed laughed to, "To obvious, he. Actually it is good that I'm early today" Ed continued. "I don't know if you kept a close eye on Sam lately, but something is wrong".

"Yeah, I noticed. Did you talk to him?" Greg's face was turned to worry.

"No, not yet. I will have to though. I honestly don't know if he will be able to do his job properly".

"I hear you Eddy, I will see if Jules knows what's going on. Maybe some time of will do him good. Talk to him, but keep it light. As I said before, he is like you. He will say he's fine" Greg looked at his team leader with a soft smile.

"I will" said Ed. "But please don't let me be the one to tell him to take some time off. And in the mean time I think truck duty will be a good idea".

"Okay, when we have a call I will let him second me. Jules can be Sierra. He can use some more practise in that field anyway. Never been his strongest side" Greg finished.

Ed walked to the locker room. Glad to have spoken to his friend. It was always a difficult situation when one of the team members was going through a difficult time. But it was their job to look after each other, which made them special. So even though he wasn't looking forward to it, he knew he would speak to Sam about what was going on with him. Not only to help his teammate and to help his team function better, but also to help his friend. 

Sam had no idea how he did it, but not only had he managed to get dressed and ready for work but also convinced Jules that besides a headache and maybe a cold, he was fine. He was almost starting to believe it himself. It might even be true what he told Jules. Maybe he was coming up with a cold or had a virus going trough his body. He just had to be patient and get enough fluids and he would be fine. Jules already made him drink a large glass of orange juice. On their way to the Barn they picked up some breakfast and coffee. He was not hungry though, he just drank his double double to stay awake.

In the locker room everybody was in a good mood. After a quiet day they regained some energy and were ready for a new, hopefully quiet day. If it remained quiet Ed even promised to have an extra outdoor training day planned for the next day. But for today just to show the public they were still there to keep an eye out they were going to patrol again after briefing.

Sam managed to get himself through work out without getting any trembles or team members noticing anything, although he felt his team leaders gaze on him more than ones. The coffee had done him really well and even though he didn't feel like working out he managed to have an upbeat conversation with Spike and teasing him over his relationship troubles with babycake. Always a safe conversation, plus he pretended the conversation kept him from focussing on a serious workout. Off course he wasn't able to fool everyone. When they started to go on patrol just as the day before it was Ed again whom he was signed up with. Not that he normally minded. But Sam had a feeling his TL wanted to observe him closely.

"How are you Sam", Ed asked after an hour or two.

"I'm fine" Sam answered him a bit to quickly.

"I knew I should have phrased that question differently" Ed half murmured.

"Ed" Sam looked at Ed not sure what he meant.

"Greg ones told me after I gave him another I'm fine: You may want to do the math one day on all the I'm fines." Ed said softly. Hopefully encouraging the younger man to open up.

"And?" Was all Sam said.

"And maybe you should too" Ed retorted, not sure to laugh or to be irritated. Sam was good in avoiding these questions, really good.

"Yeah, maybe I should" obviously done with the subject Sam stared out of the window.

Ed decided to leave it for now, knowing he wouldn't get any answers from the man at this moment.

Jules noticed Greg looking at her and she turned her head to meet his gaze.

"What's on your mind Sarge" Jules askes in a way only she could.

"What's going on with Sam" Greg's question didn't surprise her. Sam looked awful and she knew the others had noticed. She hoped Sam was right about coming down with a cold but instinctively she new there was more to it.

"I don't know. Last week he started to sleep at his own apartment again, saying he wasn't getting much sleep at my place". Jules paused for a moment, her cheeks flushing red as she realised how that must have sounded. If Greg had noticed he didn't show.

"But everyday he looked worse. He stayed over last night and I don't think he slept much again. He told me this morning he had a headache and thought he might caught something, maybe a cold" Jules finished. She saw Greg processing this information. She wanted to here what he was thinking of it, but there was no time. Through the comms she heard the voice of Winnie. "Team one, Hot Call." 

Ed listened to the information Winnie was feeding them. There wasn't much Intel to go on. Apparently a lady made a 911 call from out a liquor store in North York saying that two armed men came in. Before the 911 operator was able to get more information, the line went dead. Winnie checked the number and the call was made by 29 year old Laura Butler. The team raced to the location and while Ed, Same, Spike and Leah were close by, it would take Greg and Jules at least 25 minutes to get there with the current traffic. That meant that Ed needed Sam out in the field. He looked over at his teammate and to his relieve Sam was focussing on the information.

"Guys, try to get some more Intel from the officers at the scene. I don't like it if you're going in blind" Greg's voice came through their comms.

Ed and Sam jumped out of their vehicle and saw Spike and Leah arriving behind them.

"Spike, get me blue prints of the building. And just to be sure check if there are camera's inside. Leah, talk to witnesses, see if someone knows how many people are inside and if they know the subjects. We need to know if these men are professionals or if it's personal. Sam, have officers positioned at every exit point of the building. I will talk to the officers on scene" Ed ordered his team. He looked a Sam who gave him a nod, as if to say that he was fine. Ed walked over to the first responder. He didn't have much more information. Nothing had happened since he arrived. No one went in and no one came out.

"Ed, there is one exit at the back of the building. I have officers securing it right now, but no way to tell if they have already left through this door. There are no windows at the back or at the side of the building" Sam informed.

"Oke Sam, come back here. Spike anything?" Ed asked.

"I'm sending the blueprints to your PDA's right now, no camera's inside and the liquor store is not in vision of the CCTV camera. I'm trying other angles to look for suspicious vehicles and or persons" Spike replied immediately.

"He Ed" Leah's voice came through. "I have multiple witnesses saying they heard 2 gunshots fire. No one noticed the men going inside the store however they are positive that the men haven't left the store via the front" Leah finished.

"Okay, thanks Leah. Keep questioning the witnesses though. I want to know who we are dealing with. Greg status?" he didn't liked it to be separated on a case like these. He wanted Greg to handle the negotiation.

"10 minutes Ed. I don't like this situation. Start negotiation by calling the store." Greg replied.

But before Ed could say anything or do anything gunshots were heard from within the building.

Sam just arrived at Ed's side when the gunshots were heard. He had looked at the blueprints and they were simple. One main area between the front door and the backdoor, and one smaller room, possibly the office of the store with a staircase going upstairs. He informed Ed about this, who hadn't had a look at the blueprints yet.

"Okay we are going in know" Ed yelled. "Spike, Leah, take the backdoor. Sam you're with me. We go in simultaneous".

Sam felt the adrenaline going through his body and he took a few deep breaths to keep his heartbeat low. He knew that Ed wasn't sure about his condition, otherwise he would have send Sam to take Leah or Spike in via the backdoor. He just had to focus on the job. With some luck it would be over within minutes. He took his position behind Ed and they waited for Spike and Leah to get into position. Sam kept his focus on his breathing and whished he just had stayed in bed as Jules had suggested. The thought of bringing hostages in danger because his head was not in the game was already worse enough, but his team safety was also in the line. Spike and Leah confirmed their status and Sam took another deep breath and they went in.

"SRU, TO THE GROUND KNOW! TO THE GROUND!" All four shouted while flashbangs were thrown inside. Sam noticed four people inside. A woman and an older man were sitting in the left corner of the shop, most likely the hostages, and two men in black and balaclavas over their heads were standing in the middle of the store. One man dropped his gun and went down to the ground immediately while his partner ran further in the store to hide behind some shelves. Leah who was closest to the hostages led them to the door were police officers took over. Spike was cuffing the first subject. Sam saw it all happening. He heard the yelling. But it was something else that caught his attention. Something he saw not far behind Spike. Something that couldn't be there. And while he was staring at it, he didn't notice that he dropped his arms, no longer holding his MP5 in position. Not hearing his team leader scream at him. To shocked to even realise that he hit the ground.

**N/A: Okay I know, Another cliffhanger. But don't worry, I'm already working on chapter 3. Hopefully I will post it tomorrow. In the mean time you can all make me smile by posting reviews. It will make my work day a lot better! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm so excited to have so many readers! A big thank you to all my reviewers. I really appreciate that you took time to write one! I know that in the show Jules mentioned that her mother had died when she was young, I just can't remember if it's mentioned what had caused her death. So everything on Jules mother in this chaper has been made up by me. Also, all medical terms have been googled. I have no medical knowledge except the things I learned watching ER. So if you see any mistake, blame google! That's what I did during college :) **

* * *

Ed couldn't believe it. The situation was difficult but they had managed to get all the hostages out as soon as they entered the building. Spike arrested the first subject, so that left one subject in a secured building with four cops. Not just cops, but SRU officers. A situation where you should be alert but it was manageable. However, while Leah returned back in position after bringing the hostages out and Spike still over the first subject to make sure he wouldn't run, Sam was standing motionless staring into oblivion. Shock washed all over his face and he dropped his MP5. Suddenly the subject hiding in the building started shooting around, and everything turned in chaos.

"Sam get cover" Ed yelled. "Sam, cover now! Sam!"

Ed heard Leah and Spike calling for him as well but Sam didn't respond and kept staring at this one point.

"What's going on guys? We're just pulling up. Eddy, status" Greg's voice came to him.

But Ed had no time to respond. He saw the gunman from behind the shelves pointing his gun right at Sam. At the same time that Ed shot fire, Spike jumped from his place up to Sam and with a fly tackle they both ended on the ground.

"Subject 2 down, subject 1 in custody" Ed stated.

At the same moment Greg and Jules had entered the building and together with Leah the three of them checked and cleared the whole building to be sure no one was left unnoticed. Ed went over to help Spike and Sam up.

"You're okay Spike?" Ed asked while Spike got to his feet.

"Yeah" he mumbled in return staring at Sam who was still lying on the ground. As soon as Ed was convinced that Spike was fine he turned his gaze towards Sam. His emotions in conflict between worry for his teammate and anger about his own misjudgement regarding his state.

* * *

Sam didn't exactly know what had happened. Earlier. He was sitting in the briefing room staring into the faces of all his teammates. The ride back to the barn had been a quiet one. Since Ed was taken by SIU for his statement, Leah took the wheel in his SUV. She had been the only one who stayed calm. Ed and Spike looked like they were going to shoot him, which he could understand. He had let them down and got not only himself in danger but also Spike. Greg was full with questions and wanted them answered. Jules was just scared, worried and hovering around him. It was Leah that took him back to the car giving a reassurance smile and drove to the Barn without saying a word. He was thankful for that.

Since they arrived first he was able to run straight into the locker room and take a shower before facing the others. Ed had returned pretty quickly as the whole situation was clear to SIU. The subject had started shooting around and was seen as a threat.

So now the whole team was in the briefing room, all eyes on Sam, he felt very uncomfortable. He knew it was time to explain what had happened, not that he really knew what had happened, but this was all a bit to confronting. Greg was the first to start talking.

"Okay, lets start with the debriefing. Leah if you can read the transcripts" he asked.

They went over it and all was very clear, until the part were you could hear Ed, Spike and Leah scream for Sam to take cover. Again all eyes went back on Sam.

"Okay, besides that part, are there any questions or remarks about this case?" Greg spoke. His team all shook heads as to say no.

"Okay then, that's it. Take a shower, do some restocking or get some workout done" Greg told his team. At the same time he nodded to Sam to stay put.

Sam watched Spike and Leah getting up and reluctantly striding off to the locker rooms.

"Ed, Jules" Greg gave them a meaningful look.

Sam knew Jules wasn't just going to leave. Worry was all over his face. He also knew it would be a lot easier for him to talk to Greg without her. He would talk to her but rather did that privately. He was ready to talk, even though he wasn't sure how to say it. So he looked at her and gave her the best smile he could at the moment.

"It's okay Jules, we will talk after this" and he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

With a nod she stood up and walked away in the direction of the others. Ed also stood and before he walked out of the room he patted Sam's shoulder.

Greg took a chair next to Sam.

"Please Sam, tell me what is going on. What is bothering you?" he asked in a warm and soft voice.

Sam looked at his hands in his lap, trying to find the right words.

"I don't know. I just…, I don't know. Something is wrong. Today…, Spike could have been killed, the team…, I just don't know", he sighed, still not looking up from his hands.

"Sam, let's just start with the beginning. That might help to see where all this is coming from" Greg replied.

Sam looked up, glad to at least postpone the moment he had to tell what happened today.

"Nightmares, it started with that. I don't know when exactly. In the beginning they looked like the regular nightmares. But last week they became worse" Sam started to explain.

"And the weird thing is, when I wake up I don't remember what they were about. Normally I know exactly what they are about and also what had caused them. But it's not just the nightmares. When I wake up my body is trembling and I can't have control over it. That's why I decided to stay at my own place, so Jules wouldn't notice" He looked guilty up to his boss. He knows he should have informed him sooner. But his face showed no other emotion than compassion. So he continued his story.

"It became worse yesterday. During our workout at the end of the day my hands started to tremble. It was the first time it happened while I was awake. And last night I woke up again. I was staying over at Jules, so I went to the bathroom, not wanting to wake her. My whole body started to shake until I blacked out. I woke up a few hours later" Sam finished. Greg was looking at him clearly processing what he had heard so far.

"What about this afternoon Sam?" He asked. Finally addressing the one thing that Sam scared more than everything else.

"Today it was different, nothing like this had happened before" Sam answered. His voice starting to shake a bit.

"Ed told me that it looked like you saw something" Greg said to help him a bit out.

"I saw Matt" Sam said very softly with tears in his eyes.

"He was standing there with his back to the wall, right behind Spike. He didn't look like Matt though. Not like the Matt I knew. He looked like the Matt I found after he got killed, after I killed him. I knew he wasn't there, but at the same time it looked real". A moment there was only silence after Sam told his boss what he had seen.

"He disappeared after Spike floored me" Sam quickly added. To make sure that Greg knew he wasn't still seeing him.

"Thank you Sam. I know this wasn't easy for you" Greg's face was still full of compassion, however his eyes told Sam that he was worried. Scared maybe.

"Sam, I think the first thing we need to do is to make sure that you are physically well" Greg spoke his concern. Sam knew he was thinking about Wordy. It was a shock for all of them when they learned he had Parkinson's.

"Why don't you make an appointment with your physician for tomorrow. I will give Jules the day off as well. You shouldn't do this alone, not anymore," Greg told him.

"Go home, take Jules with you and talk to her. Let her in on what's happening with you. And don't forget you have a family here. We're only a phone call away if you or Jules need something", Greg told him.

Sam nodded, not knowing what to say anymore. Not sure he would be able to say anything at this moment. The words had touched him. Off course he knew they were here for him. But it felt good to hear those words out loud at this moment.

"Will you call if you need anything and let me know when you have made an appointment?" Greg asked.

Sam nodded one more time before he stood and turned to leave the room. After a few meters he stopped and turned to face his boss, his friend.

"Thank you", he simply said.

* * *

Jules was lying in bed with Sam next to her. Earlier at the Barn she had been eager to leave with him even though they were officially still on duty. She hadn't asked him any questions and waited for him to talk to here. Sitting together at the couch she sat close to him, not really sure what he was going to tell her. She didn't know what happened today, all she knew was while she and Greg were arriving on the scene, and Ed started to yell at Sam followed by Spike and Leah. He wasn't responding and for a moment she feared the worst. When she and Greg entered the building she saw Spike tackle Sam to the ground and Ed taking the solution on subject number two. A lot of theories went through her mind. Did he have a panic attack or maybe a black out?

Suddenly he started to speak to her. Telling everything that had happened since the first nightmare. While he talked to her she quietly leaned in to him with tears streaming down her face. She was surprised how easily he spoke to her. Talking to Greg had done him good, gave him the courage to face it. She agreed that he had to see a physician as soon as possible. She grabbed his phone and pushed him to dial straight away. She hoped it wasn't to late and that the receptionist was still around. Luckily she was and an appointment was made for the next morning at 9.30 am. Later on she texted Greg to let him know, he called her back telling her not to hesitate if they needed anything.

Now other possibilities came to her mind about what was going on with Sam. It was still possible that it was stress related or that certain trauma's from the past were catching up with him. But she couldn't stop herself from thinking the worst. That there was a physical reason that had caused all this. She thought about her mother. Before they knew she was sick they just thought it was exhaustion. Causing headaches and sleep deprivation. She only went to see a doctor when here eye vision went blurry. It didn't take long for the doctors to find out that she had a brain tumor. It was inoperable and the only treatment she could have was chemotherapy to slow the process down. Her mother didn't want the chemo, knowing it would make her feel sick only to live a few months extra. It had devastated Jules but her mom was strong and went on with her life as if nothing was wrong. But soon she started to forget things and found it difficult to focus. Her eye vision became worse and in the end she started to hallucinate.

Jules looked at Sam's peaceful face. The day had exhausted him and he fell asleep the moment his head touched the pillow. She laid her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat not able to catch sleep.

* * *

Sam woke up and knew it was happening again. He felt awful, his body was shaking and again he felt a panic going over him when he could no longer control his body. It took him a minute to realise that he heard Jules voice. She tried to calm him down but her own voice wasn't calm. "Sam, can you hear me? It will be okay, just try to relax" he heard her saying.

He grabbed her hand not able to speak back to her and waited for it to pass or darkness to take over. It didn't take long this time before he felt the tremors subdue. He was breathing heavily and focussed on bringing his pulse back to normal. Jules face full of tears hovered over him and he knew he had to say something to her.

"Bathroom" was all he could say. He was feeling nauseas and didn't want to make it worse by throwing up on the floor. She helped him up and just on time he reached the toilet to empty his stomach. When he was done he sat on the welcoming cold floor in the bathroom with Jules next to him.

"It will be fine," He said to Jules, tears were still coming down her face silently. "I promise".

* * *

Jules was sitting in the waiting room. It had been a long day of waiting so far. As soon as Sam told his physician what was going on he had made an appointment with a neurologist for the same day. He only took blood samples from Sam before they could leave again. Since their next appointment wasn't until 3 pm they run some errands, went out for lunch and brought coffee for their teammates at HQ. Sam told Greg about his appointment with the neurologist and Jules saw the worry on her boss's face. They informed the rest of the team that Sam was going for some tests to see if he was well but left out the rest. They didn't want to worry them until they knew more.

Sam had been in there for about an hour and Jules was getting impatient. She had flipped through every magazine lying in the waiting room without reading one word. Nothing could distract her from worrying.

* * *

In side the doctor's office Sam felt exhaustion coming over him. Once again he told what had happened this past week. He noticed the doctor was observing him closely. Checking his mental status by how Sam was telling his story and answering his questions. He had done that over and over with subjects and victims during work. However, when he was the one being observed it was a whole different feeling. After that the doctor start doing a lot of tests on him. Checking his motor function, balance, sensory and reflexes. Ending it with an evaluation of the nerves of the brain, by doing different kind of vision test, muscle movement and a smelling test. Now the doctor was writing his report while Sam was waiting for him to finish.

"Sam, I know it's already late, but I want do some more tests," the doctor spoke to Sam.

"I want you to have an MRI scan and an EEG, I will push some buttons to get you in between. It will give me the chance to have a look at them before I will see you tomorrow. Hopefully, along with the blood tests we will know more". That was all the doctor had to say for today. When he stepped out of the office he saw Jules striding up and down the corridor. He couldn't help himself but smile. Julianna Callaghan was a woman with many capabilities, but patient not being one of them. The receptionist gave him the information where he needed to be for the MRI scan and EEG and while holding Jules hand they walked through the hospital for his next test. Jules had clearly recomposed herself and smiled reassuringly up at him. "I love you Jules", was his reply.

**A/N: I hope you liked it! Please let me know, it's appreciated!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here is my new chapter! All your reviews have been such an amazing motivation, I'm so happy! Again all medical terms are coming from google, except for the Lumbar Punction. That one I stole from ER. Everytime I saw that on the show it horrified me. I'm just glad team one feels the same about it :) Enjoy!**

Ed was standing on the sideline of their training field. He had promised the team an outdoor training and the day was perfect for it. Team 3 was out patrolling and team 4 was on standby. Since they were two men short today, he rather stayed at HQ. Jules took another day off to be with Sam for his second appointment. Greg had told him yesterday evening what happened to Sam, and he had a bad feeling about this. Best-case scenario was that Sam needed some time off to get rid of the stress. He didn't want to think about the worst-case scenario. Anyway, they needed to find someone to fill in for Sam, even if it was only for a few weeks. Greg was going to talk to Donna, team 3 consisted out of seven officers, maybe they could make a temporarily transfer. It wasn't ideal though. It was probably inevitable for them to recruit a new team member.

The training wasn't like the usual training. Normally they would run tactics, come up with strategies for different kind of situations and things like that. But when your team is only four men large that didn't seem useful. So they are spending a few hours on the obstacle course now and after they will do some negotiating training. This was Greg and Jules specialty, but they all needed to be capable of doing it.

He looked at his watched, just past noon. In a few hours they would know more.

* * *

Sam felt more relaxed than he was in the last past weeks. Not that the night went really well. He had another big episode and he and Jules didn't catch much sleep. In lack of a better word they now used the term "episode", not wanting to give it a name. But no longer keeping it a secret made him feel better. Also now it was in the hands of the doctors to help him, he only had to accept the help. Maybe he was a bit in denial, but to him it felt like half of the problem was already solved.

Jules on the other hand was in a complete different state. She was completely obsessed to make everything as easy as possible for him. He almost expected her to cut his sandwich in pieces and feed him herself.

"Jules, I know you mean well but I think I'm fine wearing a shirt. A woollen sweater really isn't necessary on a warm day like this," Sam laughed at her, they were about to leave for his doctor appointment and Jules had handed him a sweater he only wore when it was freezing outside.

"Yeah, maybe your right. But let me get you a long sleeve, just in case" she said very seriously.

"I'm fine, Jules," Sam tried but knew it was in vain. "Alright, I'll go up and get one".

"No! Let me get it, you should take it easy" and before he could say anything she ran up the stairs.

Off course he wasn't aloud to drive and he wondered how long he could manage to live with overprotective Jules. Probably not long. But right now he knew Jules was not only doing it for him, she was doing it so she wouldn't go crazy on the waiting. They hadn't spoken about it, but he knew Jules was thinking about her mom. She had been very open to him about her, she told him how she still found it difficult to think about it and how much she still missed her mother. Loosing her mother was difficult, but not being able to do anything for her and slowly watch her die was unbearable. He hated to see her like this and he wanted to take her in his arms and talk to her about it. But he just couldn't face it, just not yet. First he wanted to hear from the doctor what it was that made him feel like this.

The drive to the hospital was taking forever. It felt like every traffic light tuned red as soon as they approached it. For a moment he thought about calling Spike. He could easily hack into the system and turn them all green if he wanted to. After only 30 minutes, what felt like hours, they arrived at the hospital and they walked to the neurology department for his appointment.

* * *

Sam was in shock. He hadn't expected this. He stared at the doctor hoping he would tell him more, but he stayed quiet. Giving him the chance to take the information in. He looked over at Jules, hoping to see answers in her eyes but they stared blankly at the doctor.

"So, what does this mean?" Sam finally asked the doctor. He felt Jules hand reaching for his and he gladly took it. She holds on to him a bit harder than normally.

"Well it means that we are going to take some more tests." The doctor answered him.

* * *

The day had crept by slowly but to Ed's relieve they were not needed for any assistance. Now they had all showered and they were ready to take off. Earlier that day he received a phone call from Wordy. Apparently Jules had called him this morning to tell what was going on, she needed to talk to someone and she and Wordy had always been close. Actually, most of them went to Wordy if it came to serious subjects. He was a good listener and never shied away to give his opinion and was always ready to help you. Often they joked about this, saying that living with four women made him soft and a good listener. But Ed knew better, there was a reason why Wordy and Shelley made a perfect couple. She needed exactly the kind of person Wordy was.

Naturally Wordy was shocked to hear what was going on and could relate to how Sam and Jules were feeling right now. So he gave them what he had needed the most last year. Family. He asked Sophia to help Shelley prepare dinner and everybody was coming over at Wordy's house for a get together. It gave Sam and Jules the opportunity to tell them about the test results and it gave the team the change to show their support. The three men stepped out of the locker room to meet Leah at the dispatcher's desk, ready to leave work behind them.

* * *

Sam was glad they finally left the hospital. He never liked being there. He was actually surprised that Jules didn't make him stay or that the doctor would have suggested it. In his head he already made a list of arguments why he couldn't stay. Only when he stepped into the car he could breath again.

Giving a thankful smile towards Jules, who was driving the car, Sam put on his long sleeve shirt. He knew it wasn't cold outside, but still he felt a bit chilly. Probably due to the sleep deprivation. He even regretted not bringing his woollen sweater with him. Later tonight it would be even colder and they were probably going to sit in the backyard. Jules only gave him a smile back, on a normal day she would have rubbed it in when she was right. But nothing about today was normal. Well maybe for his coffee. He had begged Jules to drive by their favourite coffee place to get him a double double. It would definitely help him to not fall asleep during dinner. On their way to the hospital they also drove by to get some coffee, they make good customers he laughed to himself.

Sam was glad that Wordy had arranged this evening. Talking to his team at Wordy's place with 4 girls running around was a better environment than the barn or the Goose. Plus a good meal was very welcome to both of them. When they walked around the house to the backyard they saw that everyone was already sitting there. The men drinking a beer, the women drinking wine and the little ones with there juice boxes. It would look normal to most people but Sam noticed they were anxious but trying to look normal. Sam pretended he didn't noticed and walked over to the ladies to give them a hug before he had to turn around to catch a little girl in his arms. Ally always had a thing for him. In the beginning it was a love / hate relationship. She would look at Sam all the time, almost flirting with him. But as soon as he came closer she ran towards her parents to hide her face. It didn't take long though before she was glued to Sam. And now Sam was, to put in her words, her "Bestest friend". For a moment he forgot that he was here to tell everyone what was going on. Ally was in his arms talking about everything and nothing. Shelley had to intervene to give Sam a break. While the girls were playing on the grass Sam and Jules sat down to explain what the doctor had told them. By now they all knew what exactly had happened to Sam the past weeks, just not why it had happened.

"So, how did it go, did the doctor have the test results?" Greg asked Sam.

"Yeah, he did. Blood samples, MRI and the EEG were all good. He couldn't find anything irregular on them. At least that rules out certain things like brain tumors." He looked over at Jules. As soon as the doctor told this to them she was a bit more relieved. It would have been too painful for her.

"However his neurological examination on me gave a lot of irregulars. Apparently my nerve system is completely out of balance. He did another one today and I don't think he liked the outcome." He looked around to see confused faces.

"What's going to happen now?" Ed asked him.

"Well, he took a lot of blood samples again and a lot of other tests. I don't even remember what they all were. Something called an EMG, I think it had something to do with muscle disorders and motor function and I had a lumbar puncture. I can tell you that it's not much fun to stick a needle in your spine to get some spinal fluid out of it." Sam said dryly. Maybe he shouldn't have said it, they all looked a bit horrified.

"I have another appointment next week, it will take them a few days to get all results back and in the mean time they gave me medication to hopefully calm down my nerves and for the nights I received sleeping pills. So I'm looking forward to a peaceful night."

Maybe it was foolish, but Sam had really expected to get real answer today. Expecting the doctor telling him what it was and how to fix it. He didn't anticipate that the doctor had no clue. They talked a little more about Sam's condition until dinner was ready. Just as the doctor had ordered Sam took his medication before dinner. Dinner was amazing, both Shelley and Sophia were great cooks. And with the girls at the table the conversation had changed to lighter subjects. Sam was really enjoying his time.

After dinner Spike came to sit next to him with a serious look on his face.

"Sam, have you thought about talking to Nathalie about what's going on with you?" Spike asked in a careful way. Clearly not wanting to start this subject.

"Yes I have and no I'm not going to tell her yet." Sam relied.

"She would worry to much." He explained.

"Sam, she is your sister. She would want to know this so she can be there for you." Spike tried. "She would not forgive you if you don't confide in her".

"These last months have been though on her, now she finally found a job and an apartment. She is living her life now and she doesn't need a distraction coming from me." Sam said maybe a bit harsher than he meant to. When he came back from his second tour in Afghanistan, after Matt died, she was there for him. She dropped everything around her to fly back home and stay with him as long as he needed. And he knew she would do it again, but it was time for her to work on her own future.

But Spike wasn't giving up so quickly. "What if she found out via someone else? Wouldn't it be better if she heard it from you?"

"From whom would she hear it Spike?" Sam didn't like the direction this conversation was heading and he looked straight into Spikes eyes trying to intimidate his friend to keep his mouth shut. It didn't work though.

"I'm seeing her tomorrow night." Was all Spike said. He used a very calm voice but clearly not feeling very calm. Not so long ago Spike had assured Sam that they weren't dating. He wasn't completely sure if Spike told the truth but neither of them mentioned each other after that. And right now he didn't knew if he liked it.

"How long?" he asked simply, as if it didn't matter to him.

"We are not in a relationship if that's what you mean." Spike sighed. "Just recently we have been going on a few dates, that's all. Just to see were it would take us. But tomorrow she is going to ask me about you. She always does. And I'm not sure if I'll be able to fool her. I'm not sure if I want to." Spike finished.

Sam wasn't sure how he felt about this. He loved his sister and he loved his teammate whom he considered his best friend. Them being together would mean Spike became his brother in law. That was pretty cool; it would definitely make the family visits better. But on the other hand, his sister wasn't very good in holding a boyfriend. And he wouldn't want to be between them if things went wrong. Plus there were things from his past he didn't want the team to know. Not that there were secrets, just things he rather kept separate from work. With Jules off course it was different. And if there was one person who knew his whole past and wasn't known for keeping her mouth shut it was his sister.

"Are you okay with that, me seeing Nat tomorrow?" Spiked asked carefully. Not liking the moment of silence.

"I'll ask her to come by tomorrow after work and I will talk to her." Was the only thing Sam wanted to say at this point. He knew he was being a baby about it but thought he could always blame it on the side effects of the medication. It was true that the meds were having an effect on him. He noticed it pretty quickly. He was feeling nausea's and dizzy within an hour after taking them and now it became only worse. He nodded to Jules that he was ready to go home.

* * *

Jules felt a lot more relaxed being among her friends. Sam was certainly enjoying his time and it felt good to have shared everything with them. Shelley and Sophie had offered to check on Sam on the days she had to work. She knew Sam would hate it, but it made her feel better. She would deal with his tantrums later. She never before had to deal with a sick Sam, but she liked to think that she knew him well enough to know he was going to have tantrums. He wasn't allowed to drive, drink, ride a bike, do workouts etc. So he was going to be bored to the maximum level. Maybe she would order some books when they got home. Surprisingly enough Sam was a reader.

She said her goodbyes to her friends and gave the girls a hug. Ally had already fallen asleep on Wordy's lap. She wanted to go home quickly now. One look at Sam's face told her he wasn't doing very well. Earlier he already told her that the side effects of the medication were coming up but he insisted they stayed a little longer. Just to be sure she asked Shelley a plastic bag in case Sam would throw up in the car. She turned around to tell Sam she was ready, just in time to see him collapse. Spike who was standing next to him tried to catch him, but his friend's body was to heavy. Sam's body started to tremble. First lightly but soon it turned into a full seizure. Jules ran over to him while Spike turned Sam on his side and made sure his mouth was clear. Jules looked helplessly at her boyfriend, feeling completely useless and lost. Behind her she heard the girls starting to cry and Ed on the phone to call for EMS. After a few minutes the seizure slowly went away and Sam lay quietly on the ground with his eyes closed. Spike was monitoring his pulse and said to Jules and Ed, who was still on the phone with a 911 dispatcher, that his pulse was strong but too fast. Jules just wanted to reach down to touch Sam's face, when another seizure started. This one lasted until the ambulance arrived. They quickly gave Sam something that calmed his nerves and muscles and the seizure subdued. They gave Sam an oxygen mask and started an IV line. When he was stable they put him in the ambulance. Jules didn't want to leave him alone for a second and decided to ride along with the ambulance. The team would drive up to the hospital to meet her there. They were all saying things to her but she wasn't hearing it. All she could think was that Sam was lying there unconscious and pale and so far no one knew what was causing it. And everyday it went worse and worse. The doors closed and they drove to St. Michael's Hospital.

**A/N: So you may have noticed the Spike and Nat thing. I just wanted to bring Nathalie into this story as she is Sam's sister. And I thought it would be fun to see how Sam would react on them dating. In Blue on Blue he seemed very protective. So to all Winnie and Spike lovers, it doesn't mean that Spike will end up with Nat instead of Winnie in this universe. Just during this story he is dating Nat. Also, in the next chapter you will find out what is wrong with Sam. So you only have to wait until next update. And motivation is the best way to write a story quick, and you know what motivates me! Yes, reviews :) So bring them on!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks again for reading and reviewing! To KevinxoShelley, I liked that you noticed the Wordy moment. I really believe that he is that kind of man. I've been trying to make all characters as how they seem to be in the show. In this chapter there will be some "Emotions behind the man" as I call it, with Sam and Ed. I have one planned for Spike as well. Just have to work on Greg, I haven't put him much in the story yet. I was just wondering what you guys think. Am I on the right track with the characters? Also, I'm glad to hear that so many of you like Spike and Nat! Originally I didn't care, but now the idea of them together starts to grow on me (with a new story in mind, yeah!). - I still have no medical knowledge - Enjoy! **

Jules was sitting next to Natalie in the waiting area. While Greg, Ed, Wordy and Leah drove straight away to the hospital to be there for her, Spike went to Natalie's place to talk to her and bring her to the hospital. When she and Spike walked into the waiting area her eyes were red and her face was pale. She didn't spoke to anyone until the doctor came to let them know that Sam was stable and settled in his room. He was going to stay for an undetermined time at the neurology department. Jules let Nat be alone with Sam for a minute, before she joined here. Later the team went in, two by two, before the nurse came to tell that Sam needed to rest. He had been awake during the visits, but was very groggy. She wasn't sure if it was due to the seizure or because of all the meds he got. It was very important that Sam could sleep without sounds and movements around him, so his nerves would get the rest that was so much needed. So Jules was not allowed to stay with him overnight. However, she decided not to go home but stay in the waiting area. If something happened, if he had another seizure, she would be there for him. Her team tried to convince her to go home and get some rest, but all in vain. She was staying not matter what. So after a while the guys, including Leah, went home since they all had a shift the next day. But Jules was glad that Natalie had decided to stay with her all night.

"He hates hospitals." Natalie suddenly said.

"Yeah I have noticed." Jules replied to her. She had never known the exact reason of it and wondered if Natalie knew. Nobody liked hospitals, but Sam seemed to have a very specific hate against hospitals.

"He was waiting in the hospital when they told him." Natalie continued, very softly. Jules didn't have to wonder long what she was talking about.

"He was there all alone, waiting for her, waiting for my parents. And then a police officer told him that she was dead. He saw her getting hit by the car, but just couldn't believe she was dead. But when the police officer told him, he knew it was true. It took my parents an hour to get there. And all that time he was sitting there alone." Natalie finished.

Jules saw the pain on her face, she wanted to say something to her, but she couldn't. She had a lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow away. From the moment Sam stepped into her life he always had this cheery, slightly cocky way of acting. It didn't take her long to find out that there were other emotions behind this mask. Even before they were dating she had seen them. She remembered when a buddy from his time in Afghanistan had committed suicide. It had affected him in a way you can only call human. Anger and hurt. That's why she loved him so much. He had this amazing positive look of life, making him capable of enjoying all things around him. But at the same time he was capable of showing emotion. Okay, you had to encourage him, and he didn't like it, but he did anyway. And after he did he would continue his life and find his positive spirit back. Jules liked to believe that this exactly was the reason why Sam, so far, escaped PTSD. But now she was thinking about this little blond boy with blue eyes, all alone in a time were he needed someone the most. And she just couldn't believe that he was the person he became to be. She took Nat's hand and they looked at each other with the same thought.

Sitting here in the middle of the night, having his past in their minds; will he have a future?

* * *

Ed walked with Wordy back into the house. It had been a quiet ride. Greg offered to drive Leah and Spike home and Ed drove back with Wordy, since Sofia was still at their house. She stayed to help Shelley clean up the backyard and the kitchen and help her to calm the three girls down. They were pretty upset and Ed was glad that Izzy was to young to understand that something was wrong. He and Wordy walked straight into the warm arms of their wives and at times like these he was really glad to have such an amazing woman by his side.

Everything was cleaned and Wordy's girls were in bed and asleep, so he picked up the tiny warm bundle his daughter had formed on the couch and went home with Sophia. At home he found Clark in his room, listening to music, and he stepped in to take his son in a tight hug. Clark, not knowing what was going on, let his father hug him. He would probable go to his mom afterwards to find out what happened. This was kind of a usual thing. After a long hug where his son probable started to feel uncomfortable he let go of him and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. He had a good son, he was proud of him. After the shower he joined Sophia in bed and wrapped his arms around her. Not wanting to think about today, not wanting to think about tomorrow. Tomorrow, a day were they had to start recruiting a new member.

* * *

The next morning Sam woke up as if he had been in a coma for weeks. It took him a moment to realise where he was, but as soon as he saw the white walls he knew. The hospital. Slowly the memories of the previous day came to his mind. He had been so happy to leave the hospital, to only be brought back to it a few hours later. A nurse came in to check on him and let him know she would inform Jules that he was awake.

A few minutes later she and Natalie stepped in. They looked terrible and he felt the urge to step out of bed and put them down for a nice long nap. Except for some sore muscles he felt great. There is nothing a long sleep can't fix, he thought to himself.

"Morning ladies." He grinned up to them as they walked up to him. They sat down in the chairs next to his bed. They looked a bit relieved that he was so cheerful.

"How are you feeling Sam."? Jules asked him. Her voice was rough and full of fear.

"I'm good Jules, really. I slept like I have never before and am full of energy again." He tried to comfort her.

"Don't worry to much, okay?" He asked her and she nodded.

"Have you two been here all night?" he asked them in a stern voice.

"Yeah! I wasn't going to leave you alone with the nurses. I'm sure already half of them have a crush on you." Jules joked. She was definitely feeling better now she saw with her own eyes that Sam was good for the moment.

But Natalie kept quiet and after a while she stood up and said she was going to inform everyone on how he was doing.

Jules stayed with him all morning until she went to pick up some coffee at their favourite coffee place. She didn't want to leave him but he begged her over and over and finally started pouting. When she left he had to laugh, Jules was ready to do everything for him at the moment and that was something he didn't mind.

* * *

Back at the Barn, Ed and Greg were going over a list of potential new SRU members. Not long ago team 5 was recruiting for a new member and there were a few guys that were considered for the job, with only one job vacancy. So along with a few other guys they were coming in today to be tested by the four original members of team one and one member from team 3. Donna had agreed to lend one of her members to team one and Danny was a good substitute. He was also a young sniper and in some ways he reminded them a bit of Sam. Tomorrow Jules would be back making them a team of six again. And as soon a new guy had been recruited, Danny would return to team 3 again. Spike didn't like it, that they were recruiting and showed it. Ed understood him, he didn't like it either. But it would be for their own safety. And Sam's place was not at stake. As soon as he was better, he could return at his position. The chief had said himself.

* * *

"So the cute, shy and a bit awkward girl at the coffee place said "Hi" to you."

Jules said as she handed the coffee to Sam. It had surprised her; she always talked to Jules as long as Sam wasn't there, but until know she never mentioned Sam before. It was very clearly she had a crush on Sam. So much that even Sam had noticed and that said a lot. For some reason Sam never seemed to get it when girls stopped breathing when he walked by. But this girl was overly sweet, she would turn completely red when Sam walked in and wasn't able to say a word in his presence. Jules always had the urge to tell her all the annoying characteristics Sam had, to help her get over him. But today she said "Say hi to Sam for me" with a head as red as tomatoes.

But Sam wasn't able to reply on this. He had taken a sip from his coffee and started choking and gagging.

With a betrayed look he looked up at Jules. "What's the hell is this!" he exclaimed.

"It's your coffee." Jules guiltily said.

"No, no, no, this is not coffee." He said pushing the cup back in Jules hands, as if to say bring me my real coffee.

"It is! It's exactly how you like yours," she replied, "only decaf." She added softly.

"Jules, if you take out the caffeine it's not coffee anymore!" He really looked betrayed and upset.

"Sam I'm not giving you anything that might be bad for you. So you can just drink it or throw it out, but I'm not getting you a regular coffee. It's still the real stuff coming from a good coffee shop, so I'm sure it's better than anything you will get here. Which is probably tea!" She firmly told him, hoping he would accept it.

Surprisingly enough he did, he muttered inaudible words after every gulp he took but he drank his coffee.

He was really starting to feel restless. The doctors only let him walk to the bathroom and back when needed, other than that he was on bed rest. So Jules had to pull anything she came up with to try to entertain him. He himself had some thoughts about how she could entertain him but that would definitely bring his nerves in overdrive. Hers as well probably, the thought of them getting caught by a nurse wasn't appealing. Of course Sam thought otherwise. Not knowing what to do with Sam being bored to maximum level she went down to the children's department. If Sam behaved like a child, she would probably find something here that would entertain him. And she did! She found a PSP not being used at the moment and a game called "Call of Duty Black Ops". She smiled walking back to neurology. He was going to love this.

* * *

Sam was lying in bed occupied with his new addiction. Jules had found a way to make up the decaf coffee by bringing him this awesome game! At first he had looked at it sceptical but as soon as he tried it he was hooked. That didn't mean he was okay with decaf coffee, but he understood Jules. Nat however would be different, so as soon as she came by this afternoon, he had started to work guilt on her, he laughed while he thought back at the moment.

"Sam, you really should have told me." Natalie quietly told him. She was clearly not at ease yet.

"I know, and I was going to but I wanted to know what it was before I told you. I thought it would be easier for you if there were answers." He knew he should have told her, but she was his little sister and it was his job to protect her. He didn't want her to feel bad, but at this moment he was on a mission, and his mission was coffee.

"Beside, it is not as if you tell me everything. Apparently we are not so close, otherwise you would have told me you are seeing someone." He did it; guilt was all over her face.

"Sam, don't say that! The reason we didn't tell you is because we are not sure yet if there is something to tell. You know I love you!" She looked a bit shocked. Now Sam was feeling a bit guilty.

"Okay, I get it. Doesn't mean I like it though. But maybe you can get me something while I think about forgiving you." He said with a very innocent smile on his face. He knew before she answered him she was going to do everything for him.

"Sure, of course, whatever you need". She said relieved.

"I want coffee, real coffee, from my favourite coffee place." Was all he needed to say. Nat jumped up from her chair eagerly to get him what he wanted. Before she walked out of the door Sam called her name.

"Oh and Nat, don't hurt him okay? He is… well he needs someone who is good for him, okay?" He didn't need to say more, she nodded and left for a coffee run.

* * *

In the middle of a big battle Nat arrived with his coffee. One sip told him this was the real deal and he enjoyed every moment of it. He had to hurry up though, Jules would be back any moment. She had left for a few hours to help the team recruit a new member. But that was something he rather not thought about, him being replaced. He knew it was inevitable. He wouldn't be able to get back to work for at least a while. This morning he felt great, better than the last weeks, but later on the day he started to feel weird again. He was sweating a bit and at some point his hands started to tremble again. He had told the doctors and more test were done. But so far nothing was found.

When Jules arrived he saw her face turn into worry. He probably wasn't looking so great. He told her he was fine though, there wasn't anything she could do for him anyway, and he told her that he was going for a nap until dinner. He was feeling a bit dizzy so he happily closed his eyes. Jules hand was caressing his arm and it made him feel calm, he really loved her, he thought before he felt himself slip into a deep sleep.

* * *

Jules was in a frantic state, she hadn't seen it coming. He was just taking a nap until his dinner was brought. But then she couldn't wake him up. He didn't respond to her or the nurse. The nurse went to page the doctor straight away and now a whole crew was standing inside his room.

She and Natalie were waiting outside his room watching what was happening inside. After a while his doctor came outside to talk to them.

"During his sleep Sam has slipped into a coma." He said in a very serious way. He gave them a moment to realise what he had said. Jules heard him, but she couldn't register the words being said. She was sitting right next to him, watching him sleep, when did this happen? She was already blaming herself that she hadn't noticed.

"The body is protecting himself from an unknown threat by shutting down all unnecessary parts, causing him to be in a coma. His heart however is very strong. It's beating a bit too fast for my liking, just like when he had a seizure. But it's a steady heartbeat. His pupils are reacting and so are his reflexes. So now it is up to us to find out what is causing all of this and it's up to him to keep fighting against it until we have answers and we can take over. He is stable now, but I don't know how long that will last. He is going to be transported to ICU, so we can keep a closer eye on him. I would like to ask you to meet me up there in about a half an hour. I want to ask you some more questions regarding Sam's state today. He seemed to do well this morning, I want to know what happened since." De doctor finished and he went back to Sam's room.

Jules had called the team and Wordy as soon as the doctor talked to her and Natalie. They were already home and all jumped in their car to go to the hospital. Sophia had brought dinner for all of them while Shelley watched Izzy. Late at night they left again. There was nothing they could do for him. He was still stable and his heart rate went down to normal. Again Natalie stayed in the hospital with Jules. She had taken some time off from work to be with Sam. It was a long and uncomfortable night. The chairs in the ICU were not so comfortable as the ones on the neurology department.

The next morning the doctor did his round and checked on Sam. Nothing had changed overnight and after two minutes he left again. Greg and Wordy called in to check on Sam and she told them nothing had changed. She heard Natalie on the phone talking to Spike. They sat again in their uncomfortable chairs when the doctor ran up to them, followed by some nurses. At the other end of the hospital corridor they saw 2 security guards running up to them. The doctor and the nurses went into Sam's room while the security guards took their place in front of the room. Jules wanted to go inside but the security guard shook his head, she wasn't allowed in. Nurses were running in and out of Sam's room and Jules and Natalie started to panic that something terrible had happened while they were on their phones. After what seemed like forever the doctor came outside. The expression on his face looked like anger, but his voice was under control.

"Jules, I need you to call your team to get in here right away." Before he turned around he added, "Not as his friends, I need them to come in as Team One, someone is doing this to him." He left leaving the security guards in front of the door and Jules and Natalie in shock.

**A/N: Okay, please don't yell at me! I know I promised you would find out what happened to Sam in this chapter. I really planned to, but when I started writing it came out like this. And this was just the best point to stop writing. I'm sorry! But at least you know now that it is a somebody and not a something. For the rest you will have to wait for the next update. Unfortunately I'm going to be really busy this weekend, have a few party's to attend and I'm working. I will do my best to update as soon as possible.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys, thank for following, reading and reviewing my story! All medical things are still from Dr. Google. Here is the next chapter, enjoy!**

Team one just finished their workout when a hot call came in. A bomb was detected at a train station and they raced to the location. After an hour of evacuating travellers and trying to get more Intel, Spike found out that the bomb was a fake. So they were just ready to leave when Winnie's voice came trough their comms.

"Guys, Jules just called in. You need to go to the hospital ASAP." Winnie said.

Ed's heart literally skipped a beat. Jules would never asked them to come over while they were on duty unless it was very serious. Greg had recomposed himself the quickest.

"Winnie, I need you to tell me exactly what Jules said." Greg demanded and to his team, "Guys, let's go, hurry up." And they jumped in their SUV's and drove towards the hospital.

"She sounded very rushed and confused. She told me that something had caused the doctors to fear for Sam's life. I don't think she meant the illness itself, because she mentioned that security guards were standing in front of Sam's door. She said you needed to come asap." Winnie explained the phone call.

"Okay, we go in as if this is any other call, fully armed, treating this like a hostile situation until we know more." Ed told his team. He couldn't believe this was happening. Was somebody after Sam while he was fighting for his life? Was this coincidence? Greg was trying to call Jules on his phone but she wasn't responding. All cell phones had to be turned off on the ICU floor.

"Spike, I can't reach Jules. Will you see if you can reach Natalie?" Greg asked Spike over the communication system.

"Winnie, where is team 3 at the moment?" Greg asked the dispatcher.

"They are out patrolling." Was her immediate response.

"Tell Donna to meet us at the hospital. We might need their help." Greg replied.

"Boss, I can't reach Natalie either", Spike informed his boss.

* * *

When they arrived at the hospital they jumped out of their cars and run through the hospital to the ICU. All around them people were starring at the five SRU officers running past them in full gear. Some were curious for what was happening and others afraid that something threatening was going on. When they arrived at the ICU they saw Jules and Natalie pacing up and down the corridor. Two security guards were posted in front of Sam's door.

"Jules!" Greg called, making her stop pacing.

"What's wrong, what has happened?" Greg asked her.

"I don't know. The doctor came and told me to call you. All he said was that someone was doing this to Sam. The security guards aren't letting anyone in." Jules replied.

Greg turned to the security guard, "Hi, my name is Sergeant Greg Parker. We were called in because of a situation." Greg decided to stay professional, betting this was the best way to find out quick what had happened.

"I already informed the doctor that you arrived. I don't know why he thought Mr. Braddock is in danger, I only know that he found it necessary for him to be protected." The guard told him.

They didn't have to wait long for the doctor.

"Sergeant Parker, thank you for coming in so quick. Can I have a word with you in private?" The doctor and Greg walked into a vacant lounge.

"The reason I let Jules call you in is because of some test results I just got back. I didn't trust the fact that Sam seemed to be fine yesterday morning but slipped into a coma at the end of the day. So I did a toxicology test on Sam and this morning the results came in. There is a high dosage of a drug known as tricyclic antidepressant in his blood. It is a medicine described for depressions, but an overdose can be lethal. It can cause seizures and hallucinations, which Sam had, but also cardiac arrest. From the dosage I found in his blood we can all be thankful that Sam is a healthy and strong man, since he only suffered from high blood pressure." The doctor informed the sergeant.

"So you are saying that either Sam took this medication himself or someone gave it to him without his knowledge?" Greg asked him. He just was a bit too shocked and needed the doctor's confirmation.

"Yes, but I don't think he took it himself." The doctor said with Greg nodding in agreement.

"Because this drug is not used medically in both Canada and The United States. It was discontinued due to the side effects. However, in countries like Mexico it is still used as a medicine and on the black market it is a popular drug and poison. So that will mean most likely that Sam has been drugged. And according to his symptoms he has been drugged for a least 3 to 4 weeks." The doctor said.

"Why do you think so? Symptoms only started to show since a week?" Greg asked him.

"Because symptoms such as seizure, hallucinations and high blood pressure are caused due to overdose. But the trembling, night terrors, headaches and nausea are a discontinuation syndrome. Which means withdrawal from the drug. I think he received a small dosage for weeks before the symptoms started. And whenever it went out of his system his body started to ask for more." The doctor explained Greg.

"Okay, can you give me all the information you have on this drug?" Greg asked the doctor. He wanted to start looking into this straight away.

"Yes, I will make sure you receive all the information. But Parker, there is one thing that concerns me the most. Sam received a high dosage yesterday. You, your team and his sister were the only visitors." The doctor looked at Greg as if he wanted to say more.

"I will stand for my team and we will catch the person who has been doing this to Sam." Was the only thing Greg said.

"I trust you will find the person responsible, but in the mean time only me and an assigned nurse will enter his room. Another dosage will certainly kill him." The doctor cautiously replied.

Greg wanted to walk away, not liking the tone from the doctor, but there was one more important question to ask.

"Will he recover from this?" Greg asked, exhaustion on his face.

"First we have to wait for him to wake up, to see if the coma has done some damage. In the meantime we are giving him a medicine that is a look a like for a period of weeks, so there will be no withdrawal symptoms. He will also receive benzodiazepine for his seizures and the over activity of the nerves for as long as his body needs it." After saying that, the doctor turned to leave and Greg went to his team to inform them.

* * *

Ed was fuming from anger. If anyone was hurting someone from his team he would make sure he would pay for it. He knew he had to get his head clear, but for now he let it be his motivator. Jules came back to the barn with them, she couldn't visit Sam anyway. The doctor had promised to call them on every update. Spike was able to convince Natalie to go home and get some sleep. Jules could use some sleep as well. Ed looked at her and he saw dark circles under her eyes. She was making a list of all people that came across with Sam in the last 4 weeks. It weren't many. Spike was working on his computer to see how easy it would be to get this antidepressant in hands and to see if there were any links to Sam. Greg was informing the chief, officially everyone who had seen Sam the last weeks on a regular base was a possible subject. That included the team. However Ed was 100 percent sure that no one in his team would intentionally hurt one another. Ed rubbed his face and looked up at Donna. He had been brainstorming for the last hour with Donna and Leah, but still they hadn't found a reasonable explanation. So far they were able to rule out that an item back at home contained the drug. Everything had been checked and all was clear. Ed felt so frustrated that he couldn't help his friend.

* * *

Jules was looking down at the paper she had been writing on all afternoon. There wasn't much on it. A list of people that came close enough to have drugged him for four weeks long. But she knew that everyone on the list didn't do it. She also wrote down a timetable of when she knew Sam had episodes. To see if she found a pattern in them, but she didn't.

"Guys, I just received the camera footage from the hospital." Spike told his teammates. Jules got up to sit down next to him, she wanted to see the footage for herself. The rest joined them to.

"Okay, this is the footage of the corridor on the neurology department. That one is Sam's room." Spike explained his teammates.

There wasn't much to see. A lot of doctors and nurses. And besides them the members of team one, Wordy and Natalie went into the room. Spike had a face recognition program running at the same time to check the staff. Just to make sure that they were all working on that department. They were all cleared. Jules looked over at the footage again. There had to be answers on them, Sam was drugged that day. She saw herself coming in with coffee and leave later to come back with Sam's new toy. She couldn't believe it was only yesterday that he got so excited over his game. She saw herself leaving again, followed by Natalie coming in. Natalie had stayed with him while she was here to recruit a new guy. But Natalie left 10 minutes later and she didn't comeback for 40 minutes. When she came back Jules saw a coffee cup in her hands that looked really familiar.

She grabbed her phone and dialled Natalie's number, Natalie answered before the first ring was finished.

"Jules is he okay?" Natalie almost screamed out.

"No news on Sam, sorry. But I wanted to ask you something. Did Sam ask you to get him coffee yesterday?" Jules asked her.

"Eh, yes he did. He was a bit upset because of Spike and me, so I got him coffee to make up with him." She told Jules. If Jules wasn't so anxious and upset she would have laughed about how he got his way and she would have told Natalie that her dear brother had played her. But now she could only think about finding the person responsible.

"Were did you buy the coffee?" She asked Natalie.

"At that same place were you always get your coffee, he asked me to go there. I told the girl working there that it was for Sam, she seemed to know him, and she made his special. Is something wrong? Shouldn't I have done it?" Her voice sounded scared, but Jules had no time to calm her down.

"Thanks Nat, I'll call you if we know more." And with that she hung up.

"It was in the coffee." She yelled out. Everyone was already looking at her.

"It's the only explanation. We get one everyday when we go to work and yesterday I brought him a decaf, he didn't like it and made Natalie get him a new one. If it was in his coffee than he had a double dosage yesterday. Within an hour after his second coffee he was in a coma". Jules told them without taking a breath. Suddenly she felt so exhausted.

"Spike, get me all names of employees working there." Greg asked his young teammate.

"Jules is there anyone specific you had in mind?" Ed asked her.

"There is this one girl who helps me and Sam most of the times. I think her name is Lucy. She clearly has a thing for Sam, but she doesn't look the type though. She is very sweet and quiet. She never says much." Jules informed them.

"It's always the quiet one." Leah said.

"I've got her." Spike said.

"Lucy Holden, age 26. Works at the coffee place for almost 2 years now. She grew up in Toronto. Mother killed herself when Lucy was 17 years old and father unknown. No siblings. No criminal record but she has spend time in a psychiatric facility for depression after her mother killed herself. After 3 months she was checked out and never returned." Spike shared with his team.

"Okay guys, gear up. We're going to pay Lucy a visit." Greg told his team.

While everyone got their stuff Greg walked over to Jules.

"Jules, I think it would be best if you stay here. We can handle it. Take some rest, you look like you can use it." Greg told Jules.

"Sarge I'm coming with you. She knows me and seems to like me. I will keep my head calm and stay professional. The sooner this is over the sooner we all be able to take some rest." Jules told Greg, and she knew he was going to let her come.

* * *

"I've called the coffee place and Lucy is not working today, it's her day off." Leah's voice came over the communication system.

"Okay, lets see if she is at home. Jules, you and I will talk to her. Hopefully we don't have to go hard on her." Greg explained his intentions.

"We will have your back in the meantime. Leah, Danny, go around the house and take position there. Spike your with me. We will stay at the front, ready to intervene." Ed ordered his team.

"Okay Eddy, but give us some space. I want this to end happily." Greg voiced his concerns.

* * *

Jules walked up the steps to the front door with her boss by her side. She wasn't sure what to expect. Lucy seemed such a sweet young girl. She was surprised to hear when Spike told them that she was 26 years old. She didn't looked older then 18. Jules realised she hoped it was all a misunderstanding. She didn't want this girl to be in trouble. Maybe she should hate the person that had drugged, hurt and nearly killed the man she loved so much. But she just couldn't, she really hoped they were able to give her the help she needed. If she did it, which they couldn't be sure yet, she probably didn't really wanted to hurt Sam. Maybe it was a cry for attention.

They knocked on the door and soon Lucy opened it. She looked a bit shocked, which was natural. There were SRU officers standing in front of her door. But she recomposed herself and looked at Jules. She recognized her and clearly felt more comfortable to talk to her. But it was Greg who started to talk.

"Hi Lucy, my name is Sergeant Greg Parker. May Jules and I come in for a moment? We wanted to ask you some questions." Greg asked her in a soft and calm voice. She looked a bit unsure at Jules. But Jules just nodded at her and Lucy stepped back to let them in.

With them in the house, the others didn't had a visual, but it would be easier to talk to her. The rest of the team could follow the conversation and if needed they could be inside in no time.

"Thank you for letting us in, Lucy. You have a nice place here." Greg continued. He was just making some small talk to try to make Lucy feel comfortable. They sat down in the living room, Lucy looked very nervous.

"You know my colleague Jules Callaghan, isn't it?" Greg continued. Lucy nodded.

"She told me she comes over at the coffee place you work all the time and that the service is always good." Greg tried to win her trust. Another nod from Lucy.

"You know Sam too, is that right?" Lucy just nodded again.

"Well, he is not doing so well right now. He is in the hospital because he had a seizure." Greg cautiously said. Jules was looking at her reaction. She wasn't that shocked, just a bit at unease.

"But yesterday evening it went worse." Greg continued. "He is in a coma now and we don't know how he will be from now." Greg said. Now he got a reaction. She turned pale and tears came in her eyes. Not just in her eyes, Jules had to fight to the tears as well. When Greg said to Lucy that he didn't knew if Sam would recover from this it had hit her hard. But there was no time for this now, first they had to end this. Greg gave Jules a look before he turned to Lucy again.

"The thing is, we think that this is caused by the coffee Sam has been drinking. Not so much the coffee itself, but something that was in the coffee. Something that shouldn't be in it." Greg finished. Tears were streaming down her face and she couldn't look at Greg. She turned to Jules and there was a pleading look on her face. Suddenly she started to say something, with a small and soft voice.

"Can I have some water?"

"I will get you some," Greg said to her and he stood up and disappeared into the kitchen.

Jules watched Lucy standing up and walking over to the window. She stared out of it for a short moment before she picked up something from the desk standing between her and the window. She turned around and she had a gun in her hand. Her face was a mixture of confusion and panic. And before Jules could process what had happened Lucy pointed the gun at Jules.

**A/N: I hope you liked it! It was the hardest chapter to write so far. Sorry that there was no Sam in this chapter. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I can't believe my story has come to an end! I loved writing it and to read all the reviews I received. So here by I want to thank everyone who read my story, everyone who wrote a review and a very special thanks to all my fans who gave me their thoughts after every chapter! You guys are so amazing! Enjoy the last chapter!  
**

Sam tried to open his eyes. It took him a few tries, but finally they were open and he registered his surroundings. A hospital, he had been in the hospital. But this was a different room. He couldn't remember why he was in the hospital though, but he remembered that Jules and Nat had been with him. But not now, no one was there. He lay in his bed starring to the white walls, not really knowing what he was doing there. When a nurse came in she started to talk to Sam, but Sam didn't feel like responding. So he ignored the nurse and kept staring at the walls. Why was Jules not here, he wanted her to be here. He had this urge to go look for her, to try and find her. But he kept lying in bed, not moving, just staring at the walls.

* * *

Ed had been closely listening to the situation inside. Greg had talked to Lucy and it seemed like they were able to reason with her. But within a minute after she asked for a glass of water he heard Greg's voice coming over the comms and every muscle in his body tensed.

"Eddy, the subject has a gun pointed at Jules. She is standing in front of the west living room window. I need you to go up there and take position, but don't let her see you. I don't like the state she is in, she looks confused and about to have a panic attack."

Ed instructed Leah and Danny to make a quiet entry from the back and stay out of sight, but in position to go in to living room quickly. Spike was in the truck looking for everything he could find on Lucy Holden.

"I've got the solution." Ed informed the team over their comms.

"In position." He heard Leah and Danny say.

"Okay guys, I'm going to talk to her." Was Greg's reply. And he stepped back into the living room where Lucy only moments before had picked up the gun and pointed it at Jules.

* * *

"Hey Lucy, I have brought you your water." Greg told her and he put down the water at the table. It was his way to let her know that he was listening to her.

"Do you mind to lower your weapon just a little bit, it would make me feel a lot better." Greg started the negotiation. She shook her head no, but lowered the gun anyway a little bit down. Enough to not be pointed directly at Jules.

"Thank you Lucy. You seemed to be very upset by the news I gave you. You care for Sam, don't you?" Greg was looking for a connection with her.

"Yes." She replied very softly, now looking at Greg.

"So, for how long have you known him?" Greg wanted to make her talk, to open up to him.

"It was my first week at the coffee place, he came by to get his usual. I noticed him". She answered; her face had an expression as if she was reliving that moment. Right after she stopped talking Spike shared some info he had found.

"Boss, I just checked her mothers medical file and she got the same medication descripted to her as the meds found in Sam's blood. Maybe her mother didn't use all of it and Lucy kept it." Spike's voice came through. Greg just gave a simple "Okay", which could be interpreted by Lucy as a reaction to what she just told him.

"So you noticed Sam, did you? Can you tell me a bit more about it?" Greg continued the negotiation.

"I noticed him because he looked so sad. In the mornings before his shift started he would be okay, but when he came by after a shift he had often a haunted look on his face. I knew what his job was, Jeffrey told me. So I figured it was due to the job. But after a while I saw there was more to it, that he was lonely. He just needed someone to care for him. So everyday I worked up the courage to talk to him. I even practised at home and bought books on how to start a conversation. But every time he came in I couldn't and I just turned red. He noticed it, but he always was nice and just gave me a smile. A warm smile that made his face beautiful, but his eyes never fully joined." She started to sob softly and Greg gave her a moment before he continued.

"That must have been hard for you, to see someone who needed help but not able to give him the help he needed." Greg stated, he received a nod from Lucy.

"Was it then that you decided to help him in a different way?" Greg asked her.

"For a whole year I did my best. I followed him home because I hoped he had someone waiting for him. But I never saw someone else beside him. But then, one day, something had changed. He looked really happy. I didn't have to wait long to see why, soon after I noticed he brought her in." She shook her gun towards Jules. Greg inside and Ed still in position outside cringed at her movement, but her gun stayed quietly.

"Lucy, I just want to tell you something about that gun in you hands. The trigger on it is very light, very easy to set it off by accident. Could you do me a favour and keep it still?" Greg asked her in a nice and soft voice, not wanting to order her around. Her only reaction was "Oh", but she did as Greg told her.

Greg didn't like it that the story landed on Jules, he wasn't sure if Lucy saw Jules as a threat. But he had to get past it to understand the full story.

"That must have been nice, to see Sam happy?" He continued.

"Not at first, I didn't like her." She gave a nod towards Jules with her head this time.

"But he was really happy and I checked her, she is a good person. I think she had good intentions." She told Greg. Greg was relieved she wasn't jealous of their relationship.

"But something changed, didn't it? Something happened that made you feel you had to help him." He asked her.

"A couple of months ago he came by to get coffee and had a horrible look on his face. Dark circles under his eyes and he didn't say much, he didn't laugh. First I thought they broke up, but after a week or two she was there with him again. But the dark circles never faded. And his mood was maybe a bit happier, but he wasn't the same anymore. She," She started to shake the gun in the direction of Jules again. "She is not able to help him anymore. Now it is up to me. I helped him!" She started to cry and the gun in her hand went up to her own head.

"I didn't mean it to be like this. I didn't want to kill him, but maybe it is for the best. It helped my mom to be at a better place. Know Sam will be and so will I." She finished her line in a calm and resolute voice. Just in time Spike's voice came over their comms with amazing news. News that could save this girl from committing suicide.

"Boss, the hospital called. Sam's awake." Spike was relieved to inform his team members. Greg used the information right away, hoping it would help Lucy.

"Lucy, I've got some good news. The hospital just called and Sam is awake. He woke up out of his coma." He told her, hoping it would be enough. She looked up at him, not really believing him.

"It's true Lucy. And you know what, I will tell him about this amazing person you are. Because you cared. Not many people are willing to do this for strangers, for people they hardly know. But you did, so can you please lower your gun? I really don't want to tell him that the person who looked out for him is not living anymore. I think that would really upset him." Greg watched her closely to see if it was enough. Jules had pulled back slowly from the moment the gun shifted to Lucy's head, so she was clear and safe now. But Greg really wanted this confused girl to let the gun down so she could get the help she needed. She seemed to believe what Greg had told her and very slowly she let her arm down and Leah stepped in to take the gun away from her while Danny cuffed her. Greg looked at her while she was led to a police car. He felt sorry for her and he was going to give a recommendation of psychiatric treatment instead of prison. She didn't belong there. Greg walked over to the truck.

"So Spike, tell me what the doctor said, do we have our man back?" He asked with a smile on his face.

* * *

Jules was sitting with Greg in the car, on their way to the hospital. She was very relieved to hear that Sam woke up and she couldn't wait to see his blue eyes. She had to think back at Lucy and everything that she had told them. It made more sense now. It was true that Sam was happier now they were in a relationship, they both were. And the change on Sam a couple of months ago were due to her being injured on the job. He took it pretty hard afterwards, that he wasn't able to protect her in the first place and that he had to watch her while she was injured, not able to help. But she couldn't help herself wondering if there was more to it. Did Lucy see things in Sam that she and the team hadn't?

"Sarge, do you think Lucy was right? I mean, how she saw Sam. Do you think he was more hurt than we thought he was in the last years?" She asked her boss.

"It's possible, but maybe she was focussing on the wrong person. Maybe it was Lucy herself who was lonely and hurt." He told her, he gave her a warm look.

"But I think you are asking the wrong person. Ask Sam and I know he will give you an honest answer. After this week I don't think he will play down his feelings so much anymore." Greg told her. And she new he was right.

She just couldn't believe it. When they called to tell them that Sam had woken up she thought that it would mean he was at least awake mentally as well. But only his eyes were open. The doctor had told them that it would take time. They had to think of it as rebooting the system. Slowly part-by-part was starting to work again. He was awake and that was very important, now they had to give him time to be able to respond to sounds, images and smells.

She was sitting next to him, holding his hand while she talked. The doctor told her that it would be good for him to hear the voices of people he knew and to hear memories. So she told him all that had happened today (except for the fact that she was held hostage). Now and then she made place for someone else to sit with him, they were all taking a turn. It was the only thing they were able to do to help him.

* * *

Sam woke up again, but this time he wasn't alone. He felt her, she was right by his side. It made him feel better. He wanted to talk to her, but he just couldn't. He tried to move, turn his head towards her, but nothing was working. There was only one thing he could do and that was to listen to her. He didn't mind. He felt her soft and small hands around his left hand, it was a warm touch that he felt through his whole body. After a while he slowly slipped into darkness again.

When he woke from the darkness it wasn't Jules who was sitting next to him. Again there was a hand on his hand but this time it wasn't small. The hand was not only larger but he was sure that he never held this hand before, not really. But at the same time it felt like he knew this person very well. So he tried to focus on what this person was telling him. He couldn't understand the words, but he recognized the person nonetheless. This was a man he had worked closely with, a man he knew and a man he had missed. He couldn't remember why but he did. It wasn't the sound of the voice though, that told him who this person was. It was the tone of the voice. The voice of a father. He was happy he was here with him.

He didn't know if time had passed but suddenly there was someone else sitting next to him. He knew this because the person next him wasn't as calm. This person was really nervous and somehow he thought he knew why. He listened to the voice and didn't have to think hard who he was. You couldn't mistake this voice for someone else. Normally there was a happy ring to it, but not now. Was he apologizing? He thought he was. Suddenly he heard a word that he recognizes. Natalie, he mentioned her. What was he talking about and why was he apologizing about Natalie. Had something happen to her? He felt panic rush over him and he heard other sounds. Footsteps and a beeping sound. Something was beeping very quickly. And then he remembered. He remembered his friend telling him about himself and his sister. He calmed down, he was fine. His sister was fine.

It felt like he was floating in a sea of unconsciousness. He started to remember more and more and words started to make sense. So why wasn't he able to move or talk? He didn't even know he was able to blink. It was all so frustrating. He felt Jules hands. One was over his left hand, squeezing it a bit. And the other was caressing his face. He really liked the feeling of it. There was someone else in the room though. Maybe Greg or Ed, he couldn't tell. Jules was talking to him. This person tried to convince her to go home and take some rest. He really didn't want her to leave and apparently neither did she. He heard her answer. "There's no place in the world I'd rather be." For a second it was quiet. But then he heard Jules gasp, her hands kept still and she waited for what to happen next. He smiled inwardly, he had done it. He had squeezed her hand back. He did it again while he slowly turned his head until he saw her beautiful face. He opened his mouth and a rough sound came out that sounded a lot like "I love you".

* * *

It had been one month since he woke up from his coma. He was only in a coma for 18 hours, but it took him two full days before his body was completely back. He had been awake but non responsive. The weird thing was that he was able to remember some moments from that time. When he was finally completely awake they had told him what had happened. Even though the thought of being drugged was creepy, he was very happy that he wasn't suffering from some kind of illness. Last month he had spent rehabilitating from the drugs his body got addicted to. There were no long time effects and he was very glad for that. He also felt sorry for Lucy. He wanted to visit her and let her know he wasn't angry but he hadn't done it yet. According to Jules he was postponing it because he really was angry with her. Maybe she is right, she usually is. Maybe the fact that Lucy had made him doubt his mental and physical well being had made him angry towards her. He hadn't mentioned it with Dr. Luria though. He understood why he had to see her a couple of times before he was cleared for work, but he liked to keep the subject light with her. The sooner he was able to get back to work.

He looked at the tray of coffee he had with him in the car. He was going to the Barn now and thought of bringing coffee with him would show he was fine. But to be honest, he had visited a few coffee places before he finally decided the fifth coffee place would do. There was a man working behind the counter that looked extremely normal. He listened while he was talking to another customer and apparently he just proposed to his girlfriend. That sounded like a happy man. And happy people don't have time to drug their customers.

At the barn he handed the coffee out to everyone. He was happy to be there again. And they were happy to see him. Sam looked at the new guy, he had to leave when Sam would return. Jules told him he was really good and that he was offered a permanent place in team 2. Then Sam gave Jules a look and had to smile. Her face was glooming from happiness. They just shared an amazing morning together where they received some news that they couldn't believe. From today on this whole world was going to be a different place, because from today it was not just him and Jules anymore.

**A/N: That's it! If hope I explained everything, if you still have a question just PM me and I will answer them! I have been working on a new idea to write about, I'm actually pretty excided about it. If you want to know more you can find the information on my profile. And off course one last review about your thoughts on this story is welcome :)**


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